Monday, September 14, 2009

Word Usage or English Sminglish

Monday, September 14

Hello everyone. I do apologize for missing both my Friday and Sunday deadlines. That is why I am writing this now. First of all, I caught something that someone brought into our domicile. I told him to take care, but I caught whatever he had after the offender coughed three or four times. I don’t believe him when he said he got some food caught in his throat. Yea, likely story.

Yet, the main reason I missed my deadlines came from the fact I remained in hiding. After I teleported those hornets into the room I shared with Thenal and friends, they began looking for me. By the way, Tement is making me change that part of my story. Yes, I embellished a bit. I actually teleported those mechanical insects of Penelope’s. You know, the mechanical yellow jackets. Once the others discovered that the insects posed no danger, they saw this incident as a practical joke.

By the way, the door to our room that Stone installed worked beautifully. Stone just pushed the door back into the frame until he heard the connectors latch.

Since we thrive on practical jokes, we tend to pull them on each other quite often. Yet, we are not allowed to commit any that cause physical injury to any other Varnark or to humans. Ygi on the other hand are fair game to a certain extent. But I can’t talk too much on that now.

Before I managed to get out of my hiding place, I discovered the others had joined me. They mentioned that Stone had work for us and decided to hide as well.

My definition of confusion can be summed up with two words - Human Language. The way they use their language can confuse us Varnark to no end. You see, the human language can be filled with contradictions and hidden meaning.

For instance on the contradictions, I have noticed on many occasions where human’s would greet each other using such terms as mutt face, jackass, moron, dipstick and other words that Tement won’t let us use.

Yet, when Thenal greeted that bearded human dressed in leather riding that motorcycle with “Hello, you mutt-faced moronic jackass. How is life treating you today?” He found himself twisted up like a pretzel and deposited in a trashcan.

As for phrases with hidden meanings, Stone uses them all the time. One night he said that he planned to go "cut a rug." Then he would leave without carrying any type of cutting utensils. Once, he told us that we do it every time he turns on his stereo system. That’s not true. We usually dance until we get exhausted. Then it dawned on me what the term meant.

Now, to my current situation, Stone notified the others in a roundabout way that he has projects lined up for us. He should know us by now. The Varnark are allergic to most activities that involve physical labor.

When asked how he knew Stone had work for us to do, Omman said he overheard Stone telling Tement that he had been thinking. When Stone thinks, we end up doing some type of menial task that is labor intensive. We aren’t idiots. After the first two or three times he pulled that one on us, he switched to another idiom that meant the same thing. He'd use the phrase “having too much time on their hands.”

I agree that at times we have too much time on our hands. But that allows us to come up with ideas to pull off more elaborate practical jokes. Wait a second. Come to think about it, this may be one of Stone’s more elaborate practical jokes. The last time he pulled this on us, we stayed hidden for three days. Though it seems to me that he said something about "wanting some peace and quiet." Then he would follow this phrase with one of the two before mentioned phrases. I just wonder.

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