Monday, September 7, 2009

Swinging in the Wind


Monday, September 7

Uh, hello. For a second there, I thought I was a goner. Earlier this morning, Tement brought the others in from the pound. Valdarna did they look pissed. Thenal jumped and planted all four sets of his claws into my chest. Omman and the twins bit down on my legs and pulled them out from under me. Then Tement returned them to their original state. Thenal transformed back to his usual self but not before coughing up a hairball.

As Thenal sat on my chest holding me down, the others trussed me up with some rope. They said that I needed to be punished for my heinous acts. My response, “What heinous acts?” I’ve done nothing wrong. The Navdalla malfunctioned changing Thenal into a cat and the others into dogs. It was an accident. Yet, they refuse to hear the truth as they wrap that rope around my feet.

Before too long, they drug me out of the trailer and placed me at the end of a rope hanging off of a tree limb in Stone’s front yard. Then, they gathered several of Stone’s Kali or fighting sticks. One does not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that they wanted some batting practice. Daggers shot from Omman’s eyes as he scratched various places on his body. His smile told me everything I needed to know.

When they got within ten feet, Stone appeared. He took the Kali away from them and locked them up in the trunk of his car. At first, I thought Stone was going to be compassionate and forgive me. But then he seemed to take much delight in treating my wounds with something called ‘alcohol.’ Though it burned, I welcomed it because, I did not want to get an infection. I have been suffering from other ailments lately. All I need is another deadly illness to strike.

Yet, Stone has graciously allowed me to record this post. As I speak into this recorder, I still find myself attached to the end of a rope suspended from one of Stone’s trees.

Though I do not think I did anything wrong, I do wish to apologize to Stone, Thenal, Omman and the twins for my alleged atrocious behavior on Friday. I must admit that the cookies and cream ice cream covered with chocolate tasted great. Surely, they still can’t be angry over that?

After Stone left, Tement gave me that disappointing look. I told him that it was not my intentions to cause them so much trouble. Tement told me that he had to free Stone from the local constabulary and the others from the local animal shelter. As for the others, they all are taking a mandatory flea bath. Omman caught something from the animal shelter. I sure hope it is not contagious. Though I do have this itch I want to scratch.

As I swing in the wind, I contemplate my punishment. Tement patted me on the shoulder and said that if I can weather this, then I would be a better Varnark for it.

My punishment turned out to be one of pure torture. After Stone tended my wounds, he left to go into the house. What I smelt cooking nearly drove me nuts. First, the hint of a baking cake wafted into my nostrils. The strong smell of fried onions came next. I figured he cooked onion rings just to drive me nuts.

Soon, the torture began. Thenal tossed a cover over the top of the picnic table that the others brought around to the front and placed a mere 10 feet away. They then placed six plates about the table. Of late, we ate our dinner outside in the cool breeze.

Stone and the others brought out the food. To keep the end fighting down over our favorite food, Stone would distribute it evenly to each person. His actions gave me a tiny bit of hope. He stacked my plate to the same height as the others. I saw onion rings galore.

That is when the torture began. They sat down and slowly consumed the onion rings in front of me. The smell drove me nuts. Then the real torture began; Stone brought out a tray containing six portions of chocolate cake and ice cream. I never saw so many Varnark eat so slow. They seemed to be savoring my discomfort.

My last glimmer of hope of getting any of this bounty disappeared when Penelope showed up and consumed my portion of the meal. That’s when I almost lost it.

In a way, I would have preferred to be beaten than be tortured in this gruesome manner. How can civilized beings do something like this. If I get out of this, I will have to figure out a way to get back at them.

As Thenal and the others cleaned up the area, Stone came over and said he had a new nickname for me. He also said that he had decided to allow me to participate in a party game that is popular with humans south of the border. The way he said it makes me think that I would be a very instrumental participant in this party ritual.

At least I might be able to have a bit of fun.. At first, I thought Stone had given me this recorder so that I could give my last Will and Testament. Though I’m still a bit worried. I find myself still trussed up and dangled from this tree. I also wonder what he meant by “what kind of prizes we will find?” statement while he looked me over.

By the way, about my new nickname, I do not know if I like being called a piñata. Stone said it fit me perfectly at the moment; whatever that means.

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