Friday, September 25
1. What are the titles of the last three books you read all of?
Since I have been on this planet only for a short period, I have not gained a sufficient knowledge of the planet’s language. So, here are three books from my planet that I enjoyed reading. Here are the translations of the titles
How to Convert Earthling Technology for Use in Pranks Against Others
By Praktic Kal Jo Ker
Getting and Keeping Out of Trouble
Byde Skinofa Miteeth
Getting Away with Wiping a Fellow Varnark’s Treats
By Runnin Asfastas Ican
2. What are the titles of between three and five magazines you subscribe to or used to subscribe to?
These I will have to use a couple from Stone’s repertoire:
MAD Magazine - I always enjoy humor even if it is from a human source.
Knockum Down Dragum Out - A martial arts magazines - My fellow Varnark and I enjoy looking at new techniques in self defense – it helps determines who gets to the treats first.
Kick, Punch and Bite - A magazine my companions and I assemble for our fellow Varnark. The pages tell of the exploits of the local Varnark group. These exploits can be the pranks we pull on each other, the humans and especially the Ygi.
3. What’s on your night table?
Well, this morning, I found several plastic wraps from cookie packets, a bottle of something called “hot sauce,” and a battered alarm clock.
I remember the cookies were a treat for not causing any trouble all day yesterday. Stone likes it when he does not have to reassemble a part of his trailer.
The battered alarm clock – when we reach over to hit the snooze button, we slap it fairly hard. I have had to reconstruct the thing 47 different times. This is because Thenal would strike the snooze button with a club.
As for the hot sauce, I brought it in here to use to help wake Thenal up. It should be doing its work right about ….
Aiiieeeeyah! Bang, bang, thump.
Now. Wow, that’s what happens when you put a dozen and a half drops in the glass of mouthwash. I never seen Thenal travel that fast in quite a while. Oh my, he dove into Stone’s swimming pool. And he really hates water. I guess that eliminates me from getting any treats tonight.
4. What are the three best things that happened to you in the past seven days?
Seeing Thenal jump into that pool and turned into a petrified Varnark – he is in a fear coma. We have him leaning against the wall for the time being.
Enjoying make a fool of myself at a local Karaoke bar. Though, Thenal, Omman and I were invited to leave after that one high-pitched song shattered the bar’s mirror. I guess ‘invited to leave’ may be the wrong word. The correct phrase probably would be ‘took flying lessons,’ because they threw us out.
Helped Stone loose some weight. We tied Stone’s shoestrings together. When he got up to come to the kitchen, splat, he landed face first on the living room floor. He has been chasing after us for most of the day.
5. What was your senior yearbook quote, and what would your yearbook quote be this year if there were such a thing?
We don’t have a yearbook. Heck, we don’t know what one is. Stone did write something in the front of my martial arts training manual.
“Duck next time and don’t block those punches with your face. You’re ugly enough as it is.”
The quote I would have written is “Fear me, fore I shall kick someone’s nazda.”
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