Wednesday, September 9, 2009

After the Punishment

Wednesday, September 09

Oh, Varnark! The events Monday did not end after I ended my post. They left me trussed up and dangling from that tree for the last two days. I now have the sniffles and a cough. If they don’t kill me one way, they will do it in another. At least, they have it too.

Oh, now I know what a piñata is. By the way Thenal and the others swung those Shinai, I thought their intention was to open me up for those proverbial prizes. Those bamboo swords hurt. We used them all the time in sword fight training. They have wanted to hit me with those for months since I beat them every time we meet in a Kendo match.

Yet, I felt every strike they made but something did not feel right. The impacts didn’t feel as painful as they did in the past. Last night I found out that Tement had placed an orepo, or dampening shield generator, on my back. He set it to transfer only 10 percent of the energy of those whacks over to my body.

Last night, Stone finally let me down. That’s when I found the orepo. Soon, I found myself lying in my hammock in front of Stone’s abode. I didn’t feel like sleeping anywhere near those skunks. I inspected various parts of my body ached but found no bruises.

Also, I found myself walking funny trying to get to my hammock. Pain has a tendency to do that, you know. Why, you ask? I will tell you why. My tootsies feel a bit tender right now. After Tement went to bed, Stone perpetrated what I considered the cruelest bit of torture imaginable: cats and cream. He said something about “this is the way cavemen used to get rid of body hair.”

This final act of torture turned out to be almost as bad as having someone eat cake and ice cream in front of me. Stone’s cats really have not shined up to me. Today, he fixed it so that they became quite attentive. Then Stone painted my feet with frothed up cream. His cats eagerly licked my feet trying to get every drop of that cream.

Who knew cats had sandpaper tongues? I didn’t. The others have laughed themselves into a stupor as I squirmed at the end of that rope. Every time one of those cats licked the bottom of my feet, this tickling pain shot through my foot. Not to mention when one of their tongues shot between my toes.

Though not in a laughing mood, I found myself laughing so hard that my side hurt. Nearly passed out on two occasions. Couldn’t catch my breath. Every time I felt I would get a reprieve, Stone would apply more cream. Fuzzball took my left foot and Queenie took my right.

I hope that now you understand why I walked funny. Stone’s cats took a layer of skin off the bottom of my feet. I hope I can keep the infection away. That is another reason I chose to sleep in my hammock. I seemed to be getting over my sniffles, but their sniffles and sinus congestion seemed to be getting worse. I don’t want any part of it.

Those skunks will regret doing this to me. Oh, and speaking of skunks, I wonder how they like the one I teleported in there a few minutes ago? I believe it should help clear up their congestion. He, He, He. :-p

Not to mention that hornets' nest that should be teleporting into the room at any ....

Wham! Bang! Boom! Aiieeeeyaah! Bizzzzzzzz!


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