Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Barbecue


Sunday, May 31

We Varnark discovered something new about our humans. Or should I say our human hosts. Since the sun has been out and the weather warm, Stone talked about getting a grill. By the way he talks, this grill was something that they used to cook outside.

Last weekend, he broke down and bought one along with a couple of bags of charcoal and some starter fluid. He bought something else, but I don’t remember what it was now.

This charcoal comes in small squares and leaves dark marks on everything it touches. Thenal talked Omman into looking into the bag. I think he got a bit too close. When he pulled his head back out, his face had black streaks across it. The twins got jealous, so Stone took one of those so-called briquettes out of the bag and drew stripes on their faces.

On a Monday they called Memorial Day, he cranked that thing up. He also invited friends over for a ‘barbecue.’ It turned out that this was Stone’s first time trying this ‘barbecue’ type cooking. After about an hour, he finally got this charcoal lit.

Starting this charcoal can be hazardous if not done the right way. He said something about not putting enough starter fluid on the charcoal. My understanding of this is that this ‘starter’ fluid is supposed to help ignite the charcoal. By not putting enough on it, the charcoal did not light.

After the fire went out, Thenal got in there and soaked this charcoal with that ‘starter’ fluid. Smoke started to twirl about and come out of the charcoal. Stone began to toss in a match when Thenal walked up and stuck in one of those long-nosed lighters and ignited it. The resulting fireball burnt his eyebrows off and set his hair on fire.

I remembered what that other item Stone purchased was. He pulled out this fire extinguisher and after several tries finally put Thenal out. Someone mentioned that he looked like a giant matchstick with arms and legs. Stone warned him about using that petroleum jelly to slick down his hair like that.

As for the food, the smell turned out to be something he had not encountered before. My mouth watered. This barbecuing was the way to cook things. The chicken turned out to be delicious. But unknown to us, Penelope mixed the barbecue sauce with something called hot sauce. It tasted great but the spicy part snuck up on us.

After we finished eating, we discovered our mouths burned similar to those jalapeno pepper slices we ate. That also explains why Penelope put out gallon jugs of ice water on the table. We do not understand the human need for self punishment like that. Well, I have to go now. I have to finish off this gallon of ice water.

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