Friday, June 26, 2009

What About the News

Friday, June 26

Well, Stone found this website called “Friday 5” in which a person can answer five questions on a particular subject. It took a bit of talking, but Stone gave me permission to answer those questions.

So, here is my attempt at answering Friday 5 for June 26: News

1. Where do you get most of your information about current local events?

Stone gets a local paper but we love to get most of our local news from Stone’s friends. Stone claims what they should be considered editorials. Then again he calls them gossips. All I know is that the way they tell it makes it sound so much more interesting.

2. Where do you get most of your information about current national and international events?

We Varnark are only interested in items of humor and some items that may indicate activities of the Ygi (our and you humans’ nemesis). Most of this he gets out of the regional newspaper, television news, and the Internet.

The one story that caught our attention a while back pertained to that pack of Chihuahuas that went after that postal worker. That story allowed us to track down some juvenile Varnark who escaped from the Ygi. They did what they did best: Cause chaos. Oh, and no, the rumor that we thrive on chaos is not completely …. Uh, okay, they are true.

3. Who in your family always is most likely to know what’s up with everyone else in your family?

Oh, that would have to be me. If someone does something that is embarrassing, I seem to be the one Varnark who would find out about it. Then, I would share those nuggets of information to the Varnark community along with anyone else who would listen.

My motto is, “Got an embarrassing tidbit, let me know. I will let everyone know." By the way, do you have something embarrassing tidbit? Send it to me if you dare. (Evil Laugh)

4. Who at work (or school) always seems to know what’s going on?

Work? School? Who wants to work when there is so much fun to be had in this world. I think I hear an ice cream cone calling.

5. What other kinds of news do you try to keep up-to-date on and where do you get it?

When and where the next festival or fun activity will be held. If it is fun, I want to know about it. I get this from friends, cohorts, newspapers, Internet, television and the local gossip group. We also see human politics as hilarious, so we also keep up with it as well. Those editorial cartoons can be clever.

This was fun. I think I will try it again next week. Though my brain is hurting trying to think up the answers. Well, I will see you later. I hear a bowl of ice cream calling my name. Bye.

The Friday 5 website is located at

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Let the Good Times Roll

Wednesday, June 24

We attended another festival this past weekend and had a blast at it. Again, we took a road trip to Shreveport. Frank, Chuck, and Stone took us to the ‘Let the Good Times Roll’ festival.

With this festival, Thenal did not have to worry with running into live crawfish. Though I had been tempted to bring one myself. He squealed when Omman brought out that plastic crawfish and tossed it at him. Tement kept Thenal from going after Omman.

Other than that, we discovered that they had all types of goodies at this festival. Stone bought a candied apple. My attempt to take a quick bite backfired on me. The problem turned out to be that I tried to take too big of a bite. I got my mouth stuck open because me teeth got stuck in that candy coating. Frank, Stone’s friend, said that I looked like one of those stuffed pigs. I did not know if he meant that as a compliment or as an insult.

After I got that apple out of my mouth, we started looking around at what the people in the booths had to offer. We turned a corner and thought we were in heaven. There before us stood this giant ice cream cone. It had to have stood at least 20 foot tall. Stone dashed our dreams when he told us that it was not real.

Then we realized that Omman had already taken off toward the ice cream cone. When you are in a bunch of Varnark, you do not wait around when someone mentions ice cream or you will do without. After a few moments, we heard someone screaming and saw Omman running away. A whistling sound filled the air as this giant ice cream cone began to collapse. Apparently, Omman took a bite out of it before he realized that it was not real.

They had hot dogs, fries, and all types of other goodies. We could not get ice cream because Omman wore out our welcome at that booth. One of the twins discovered a big jug of something yellow they called ‘mustard.’ Before we could stop them, the twins had already drained the two gallons of mustard that it contained. We weren’t the only ones upset about that. The guy running that booth got pissed as well.

Since we wore out our welcome at another location, we moved on. Stone worried that someone may call the authorities on our antics. I don’t think he really cares if we get picked up. He just does not want to get picked up with us. Never did forgive us for that nude prank which almost got him sent to jail. But I will talk about that in another post.

When we found Omman, he had fell asleep in a chair near a booth that had a sign stating that they painted faces. After Thenal got through with him, I had to say that he looked much better with that purple and green face along with those big white eyes. That big smile that Thenal painted on his face made him look unusually happier than he normally was.

One more treat we need to write down on our favorite food list is something called a ‘funnel cake.’ It ranks up there along with ice cream, chocolate, onions, and mustard. By the time we finished our third round of funnel cakes, we discovered that we had too much energy to sit still.

That is when we discovered the Zydeco bands. That fast paced music had us hopping all over the place. We danced around for almost three hours before we began to run out of energy. We wanted to get some more of those funnel cakes, but Stone refused to purchase them.

Now, Omman slipped off to see if he could get some for us but he came running back. He said that some clown had chased him away from the food court by tossing clubs at him. When we investigated, we found a clown juggling clubs to entertain the human younglings. I don’t thing he would have been afraid if we hadn’t watched that horror movie last night about killer clowns. Come to find out, Omman scared the clown as well.

Well, that will be it for now. Stone has purchased a CD with Zydeco music on it and we are about to get up and move our feet. Omman’s in the shower trying to get that face paint off. That reminds me, I need to ask Thenal where he found that paint.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Mudbug Madness

Friday, June 19

I do apologize again. There are certain key words that will distract us Varnark and ‘ice cream’ sits among them. Others are chocolate, caramel, popcorn, and onions. There are a few others but I think that would be sufficient.

Not only did Frank bring ice cream, Shepherd brought the chocolate syrup. I did not have a chance when I heard this. If I had not left at the moment that Thenal indicated, I would had been left out.

Well, now onto another subject. As I mentioned before, you humans have far too many festivals. This makes me wonder when you have time to do the things required for everyday living. To me, it looks as if all you humans do is to attend festivals.

A couple of weeks ago, one of Stone’s friends named Chuck took us to a festival called ‘Mudbug Madness.’ This one centered on a creature called a ‘mudbug.’ Stone said they are also known as crawfish. This cleared up our confusion like mud. He then showed us a photo of it. He did not tell us that the photo was an enlargement of the creature. To us, it looked humongous.

We loaded up the vehicle with our weapons and took off northward toward Shreveport. Stone refused to let us get the weapons out of the vehicle’s trunk. Our uproar almost got Chuck and Stone arrested. That’s until Thenal’s pet mouse got loose from his pocket and ran up that security guard’s pants leg. He started dancing and shouting. We did not know what to do so we joined in. Now, we did not shuck our pants in the process like this fella did.

The crowd started laughing. He looked really riled. As he picked up his pants and started to put them on, we took the opportunity to get out of there before he regained his composure. Not to mention getting his hand on that pistol in his belt holster.

The riverfront was beautiful though the temperature could have been cooler. The breeze helped keep us cool though. They had a good-sized crowd along with music and food.

Now, Chuck explained that this ‘mudbug festival’ would give us the opportunity to taste some great food. He took us to one of the booths where they prepared some of these mudbugs for consumption. One of the humans carried a big bag in from the back. It looked as if it was moving.

That turned out to be when we found out that we were to eat these ugly looking creatures. As he explained how they are cooked, this big human opened that sack and began to pour these reddish creatures into a big pot with a fire underneath it. Our ears greeted this loud roar like someone started Penelope’s motorcycle. After a few seconds, the sound went away.

Now, I understand why they call it mudbug madness. Though, if someone dumped my backside into a pot of boiling hot water, I would not be mad; I would be totally pissed. I like hot baths but this is too extreme for me.

Then we discovered that they are not as menacing as we thought they would be. Stone had us believing that these mudbugs grew to be about a foot and a half long. The ones I saw looked to be about three to five inches long.

Thenal got a bit too close to one. Actually, Omman picked one up and brought it a bit too close to Thenal’s ear. That thing latched on and refused to let go. I do not know when Thenal got rid of that thing. The last we saw of him was about noon that day running down the road ‘screaming like a little girl.’ At least that is the phrase that Stone used.

I figured that this was the creature’s way of enacting its revenge for the atrocities that occurred to its kind at this event.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Absent Minded Apology

Monday, June 15

Narval here and hello there. I know I have been quite of late. Sorry about that. I suffered a severe case of what Stone likes to call ‘brain farts.’ I planned the post but then promptly get distracted. Needless to say, I am afraid that I can be sidetracked very easily.

If Stone had not mentioned it this morning, I would have been out the front door looking for another grand adventure. My next post will be about the fun we had at that ‘Mudbug Madness’ event these humans held in a place called Shreveport, Louisiana.

Tement tells me that I should keep up with my commitments. I do wish to let you know that I will not let anything distract me from doing my blog again.

Wait a second. One of the others wants to say something to me. I will be right back. I promise.

What is it Thenal? Frank and Shepherd brought ice cream. Yes, I want to get some. Hey wait for me….

Click! Bam! Ezzzzzzzzzzz.