Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Barbecue


Sunday, May 31

We Varnark discovered something new about our humans. Or should I say our human hosts. Since the sun has been out and the weather warm, Stone talked about getting a grill. By the way he talks, this grill was something that they used to cook outside.

Last weekend, he broke down and bought one along with a couple of bags of charcoal and some starter fluid. He bought something else, but I don’t remember what it was now.

This charcoal comes in small squares and leaves dark marks on everything it touches. Thenal talked Omman into looking into the bag. I think he got a bit too close. When he pulled his head back out, his face had black streaks across it. The twins got jealous, so Stone took one of those so-called briquettes out of the bag and drew stripes on their faces.

On a Monday they called Memorial Day, he cranked that thing up. He also invited friends over for a ‘barbecue.’ It turned out that this was Stone’s first time trying this ‘barbecue’ type cooking. After about an hour, he finally got this charcoal lit.

Starting this charcoal can be hazardous if not done the right way. He said something about not putting enough starter fluid on the charcoal. My understanding of this is that this ‘starter’ fluid is supposed to help ignite the charcoal. By not putting enough on it, the charcoal did not light.

After the fire went out, Thenal got in there and soaked this charcoal with that ‘starter’ fluid. Smoke started to twirl about and come out of the charcoal. Stone began to toss in a match when Thenal walked up and stuck in one of those long-nosed lighters and ignited it. The resulting fireball burnt his eyebrows off and set his hair on fire.

I remembered what that other item Stone purchased was. He pulled out this fire extinguisher and after several tries finally put Thenal out. Someone mentioned that he looked like a giant matchstick with arms and legs. Stone warned him about using that petroleum jelly to slick down his hair like that.

As for the food, the smell turned out to be something he had not encountered before. My mouth watered. This barbecuing was the way to cook things. The chicken turned out to be delicious. But unknown to us, Penelope mixed the barbecue sauce with something called hot sauce. It tasted great but the spicy part snuck up on us.

After we finished eating, we discovered our mouths burned similar to those jalapeno pepper slices we ate. That also explains why Penelope put out gallon jugs of ice water on the table. We do not understand the human need for self punishment like that. Well, I have to go now. I have to finish off this gallon of ice water.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Hard Wind - Crash, Boom, Bang


Sunday, May 24

This post is a bit late since the events that it refers to occurred on Sunday, May 3. – Clark Stone.

The weather the other day gave us the opportunity to put our wind surfing skills into play once again. Wind came out of nowhere and the rain flew sideways.

Again, I know we may not show that we have much sense about us when we go out into weather like this. But we can't pass up having fun. The weather came at us in a roar. We grabbed our wind surfers and ran outside.

Just then we heard this crack. It came from my left. One of Stone’s big oak trees looked to be moving. After a second, I realized that it was moving toward us. I did not have time to mount the wind surfer and kick in the antigravity unit. I just ran.

I did not realize those things grew that big. When I stopped and turned around, I found the others behind me. Then they disappeared in a flash of green. I thought I had cleared the tree, and I had by a total of 12 inches.

The leaves started to move and I took a step back. Then I remembered Thenal and Omman. They had been behind me. I pulled the leaves apart found my two scratched up comrades. They look as if they want to do me some harm. Actually, they looked pissed.

So, that is the reason I am recording this out from under Stone’s trailer. They have not found me yet. We did not get to enjoy the wind either because it wind did not last too long.

When everything cleared, we found a tree across Stone’s trailer. That is one tree we will not be able to hide in. Such a shame too, because it did have many place in which to hide.

Though we did have to fight the furry creatures that Stone called squirrels. Stone said we should disguise ourselves as nuts so that they would not bother us. I am not sure about that. On some things, one has to watch out for Stone's advice.

Well, until next time, have a nice day. Narval.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Stone Expounds Once Again

Thursday, May 21

I am sorry for being missing for such a long stretch. This had not been my intentions. As for excuses, I have none.

I plan to start back up this Sunday.

Sorry for the Wait,
Clark Stone

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Bombs Away


Sunday, May 10

We had an off day or is that a day off. It is a possibility that it could be a possibility of both. As happens when we get bored, we searched for ways to entertain ourselves. That usually leads to someone getting hurt – mainly me. We’d settled on watching birds dive after bugs in the air. I rooted for the bugs myself.

So happens, Stone’s boob tube gave us the idea we searched for. That and that kite Stone made to resemble a giant spider. The program talked about hang-gliding and parasailing. Then someone got the idea – okay, it was Thenal – to take up water balloons. We tried to have a water balloon fight in the air but could not get close enough to throw them at each other without entangling in each other’s equipment.

Yesterday, the wind blew enough that we decided to sail the winds. We got our parasails and hang-gliders and hit the sky. Did you know that those wires these humans have strung up everywhere caused electrical shock? Omman found out the hard way when he landed among some. He still sports what Stone called ‘the charcoal look.’

Omman also discovered that this can cause humans to spout out the strange words as well. I do not know what he said, but the guy who own the house in front of those wires came out and shouted at him. Omman broke free from the wires and then hit the guy with a water balloon. That brought out more of those strange words.

But today, wouldn’t you know it? On the day we chose to fly these crafts, the air stayed calm. One of the twins thought about the antigravity units we had in storage. They worked perfectly.

Stone invited a friend over named Chuck. Penelope brought two guys named Frank. I do not remember the names of the others. They all lounged around a pool out in the sun.

The antigravity units allowed us to take up larger payloads. Now, a larger payload came with a problem: slower response times and climb rates. We still had to dodge those parasail gobbling trees in Stone’s yard.

Lucky for us, our targets chose a spot out in the open. Now, I am a bit hesitant when it comes to Penelope. Especially with her fondness of retaliation, bees, yellow jackets, hornets and snakes. I had to ask myself if it would be worth doing. Of course it would.

I pointed downward and the others got my drift. We bombed them from the air. Surprisingly, Thenal had been a fairly good shot. Actually, we all did fairly well. After two passes, all of them had been hit at least once with Penelope being hit twice. Our fun lasted for about ten minutes before we discovered that they had prepared a counter attack.

They came out with what looked like a large slingshot. The two Franks each held one end of this slingshot and Penelope aimed and shot. We found out later that Stone had gotten something called a water balloon launcher. As I made my last run, a water balloon exploded against my chest. Valdarna, that smart.

One good thing about getting wet is that this day had gotten quite hot. That water felt good but then started to get cold. Stone and his friend Chuck filled the balloons from his water well. That water comes from a well that is over 200 feet deep and is cold.

Then I noticed Stone took control of the launcher. It turns out that Penelope went for her paintball equipment. That is when the lumbering actions of our equipment came into play. I managed to dodge one or two of the balloons, but when it came to the paintballs, those I could not dodge.

Stone and the two Franks knocked one of the twins out of the sky. A water balloon took out his antigravity unit. He descended down into Sibley Lake. Oops, there goes the drinking water.

To get out of range of the paintballs, I let my remaining five water balloons go so I could climb faster. Not only did I get out of Penelope’s firing range; I discovered that I bombarded and soaked Stone and the others.

Oh, well. At least this time, we managed to be high enough that those paintballs did not leave welts like the last time. Thenal came out of it covered with red, blue, green and yellow spots. Luck watched over me; she only targeted me with a dozen shots. We all came down soaked. But they got soaked as well.

All of us had fun and that’s all that mattered.