Monday, December 8, 2008

A Sticky Situation


December 08, 2008

I do apologize for my absence on Saturday, but I found myself in a predicament. Have you heard of something called glue? Well, someone replaced my lip balm tube with some type of so-called super glue. I found out quickly that I could not separate my lips. As soon as I figure out which Varnark is responsible, I will report what prank I pulled to avenge this egregious act against my lips.

I bring this up because we do get to pull some pranks against our enemy: the Ygi. I day that this occurred about a week and half after we arrived and a few days after Garnara teleported in. We discovered that the Ygi knew of his arrival site as well.

They had two of their notorious apprehension/assassination, or A/A, teams into the area in search of him. I can tell you that they were not there to apprehend him.

Several unlucky members of one team managed to step through a teleport portal into an electrical storm. You see, the portal attracts static electricity discharges. Did you know that an Ygi will glow bright yellow then turn white just before they burst into flames? We didn’t and it’s funny as valdarna (väl-där-nä) too. I spent two days recovering from a jocularity coma – I will more on this at a later date.

Before the last one of that group met her death though, I discovered another use for that super glue. While tracking her movements, she had a call of nature. Let me explain; to fit in the human society, the Ygi will take human form. If they stay in this form very long, they have the same bodily functions and urges that humans have.

I know because I too take a human form for days at a time. That is one thing we learned from the Ygi. But let’s get back to this Ygi. I believe she called herself Arvele. She seemed to broadcast her thoughts quite readily. That was how I managed to keep up with her whereabouts. So happens, I had a tube of this glue, and I spotted the portable toilet facility just before she did.

Luck was on my side because she managed to get to the toilet before that big burly construction worker. I would not have like to explain how my prank went awry to Tement.

After a few moments, this awful squeal came from within this portable toilet. The building started rocking back and forth. This was followed by a loud snap. Then everything stopped. She stepped out of the building with what Stone called a “toilet seat” glued to her backside.

When she saw me, she tried to reach for her weapon. She found it around her ankle along with her pants. Then I flashed the universal symbol meaning @#$ &!@t at her. Some of the construction workers started whistling. Then she wrapped her hand around the butt of that pistol and yanked it out; they scattered.

That also was my clue to get the Valdarna out of there. One of our observers reported that back at the Ygi main base, Arvele shot a couple of her companions in the backside when they broke out in laughter.

I say that she had gotten herself into a sticky situation, myself

Next Post: December 10

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